Saturday, 21 February 2015

Toronto Mapledisappointments

As you may have heard, Olli was ripped from the comfortable womb of sure-as-shit playoff contention and thrust into the cold, heartless, self-loathing world of the Toronto Mapledisappointments. Fortunately long time Jokinen fans can still enjoy the memory of his singular NHL playoff appearance in 17 years when he played in Calgary.

When asked how he felt about the move Olli responded by kneeing the reporter in the testicles for 20 years and said "something like that." 

So to cheer everyone up here's a fart joke...

How does Joki save the team money on smelling salts? With his 100% cabbage and lutefisk diet.

Jokinen relishing a large flatulence while Peter Holland looks on in obvious distress. 

Thursday, 12 February 2015

The Benchwarmer's Chapped Buttocks

Jokinen performs a traditional European interpretive dance titled Being Held Out of the Lineup Licks a Lot of Ass:



Despite Nashville's division leading performance I still find them more boring to watch than reruns of Friends. However, they'll be playing the Winnipeg Jets tonight, so perhaps we can watch Byfuglien turn someone into mush. 



Sunday, 7 December 2014

Twelve Days of Christmas



On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
A blog called Joki Dokey






On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me: 
Two Bettmans boo'ed 
And a blog called Joki Dokey 






On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Three French Habs 
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eight yellow loogies
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Nine Bruins a diving
Eight yellow loogies
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Ten tongues a flicking
Nine Bruins a diving
Eight yellow loogies
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eleven fans in Florida
Ten tongues a flicking
Nine Bruins a diving
Eight yellow loogies
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey





On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Twelve Byfugliens roughing
Eleven fans in Florida
Ten tongues a flicking
Nine Bruins a diving
Eight yellow loogies
Seven teeth a missing
Six snot rockets
Five decades without a cup
Four calling refs
Three French Habs
Two Bettmans booed
And a blog called Joki Dokey



Have a Merry Christmas, hosers! 


Monday, 24 November 2014

Celebration Dance

Joki finally ends his point drought with a goal against Ottawa Thursday night. 

Taking no pointers from flamboyant NFL touchdown celebrations, he celebrates with a hearty chucking of nasal butter. 


Friday, 7 November 2014

Grasshopper

Jokinen's experience and locker-room presence make him a leader to the younger guys on the team. Young defenceman Victor Bartley can be seen here emulating journeyman tongue-wagger Olli Jokinen. 



Apprentice

Master